I have a hard admitting that I am powerless over food, even when the compulsion to go through the Starbucks drive through is so great that I some times roll through there 2 or 3 times a day, which I am sure is responsible for the slowing down of my weight loss or at least partially responsible.
I admit, it is making my life unmanageable, but powerless?
I used to get mad at my mom because after I had the surgery when I was on the full liquid diet, I would go to Starbucks and come home with a nonfat, sugar free latte that was only like 90 calories if I drank the whole thing which I never did, and I used to get mad at her because she'd say things like....you are having an iced non fat latte now, but it wont be long before you are back to having 2 frappucinos a day.
I formulated a response to this and waited for days and weeks, but the opportunity never presented itself. I was going to say to her if i ever saw her drinking a glass of wine, I would say, A glass of wine today, a crack pipe tomorrow. Which of course, couldn't be further from the truth.
When I finally did see her having a glass of wine like 3 months later, I couldn't say it anymore because I realized her prediction had in a sense come true.
Maybe I wasn't having 2 frapuccinos a day, but man, I was downing 2 or 3 iced coffees a day and gradually, I shifted from sugar free syrup and non fat milk, to chocolate syrup and half and half, all leading up to today where I had a frapucino.
I have some shame surrounding how often I frequent Starbucks and starting today I am going to try to give 3 things up.
1. Starbucks
2. Bread
3. Pasta
Just for today I wont go to Starbucks and one day at a time, I wont eat bread or pasta.
My Current Weight is: 231.8
Goal: Lose 2 to 3 pounds by next Saturday.
Goals
1. Consistent, rigorously honest food journal.
Committing and admitting my food to my food sponsor.
2. Getting regular cardio and strength training exercise.
*Nintendo Wii
*Treadmill
*Weights and weight machines
But mainly walks around my neighborhood and Nintendo Wii.
I can do this!
I struggled with dealing with the idea of being powerless over food too. I don't attend OA on a regular basis, but I have in the past. What I was finally able to admit is that I am powerless over the compulsion to overeat. I do believe I can control what I eat, but I don't think I can control the compulsion. Really it doesn't matter how I phrase it because the results are the same. Also about your mom, I am sure she means well, but that was a rather passive agressive thing to say. Even if it was correct, no one wants to hear something like that - especially because when she said it, you were not chosing the full-fat items. Don't let her words get you down.
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