Feeling Good

Current weight : 228.4

Weight last Friday : 232.5

My blog from last Friday is gone with the wind and I don't know where it went but I have made some really good progress in my battle with food. Yesterday I started using a food Journal I bought at the end of January instead of using the print outs I have been using.

It was brought to my attention that rice Krispies every morning for breakfast was not a very wise choice. But despite that, I have made some behavioral changes this week that have resulted in a 4 pound weight loss.

I did not cut Starbucks down to once a week, I had it twice, but twice in one week is much better than twice a day.

I am, in point of fact, sitting inside a starbucks right now which is the biggest source of shame for me right now . Starbucks has me by the ovaries and I will find any excuse to come here and enjoy a cup of coffee. I came here to study for my Multicultural Counseling class, but rather than open my book and read what's on the pages, I am online. For shame!

I feel really good about what I am doing, and the support group last night only served to reignite the fire inside, that will to survive, to lose weight and to succeed.

Opioid

I lie awake inside my box.
Handful of dirt from my
final
resting
place.
Flowers lined up
one
by
one
Only lit headlights
in broad day light could
have finalized it this way,
as in my box.
Ive been down there
for years thinking
LIVE thoughts.
RETURNING TO
THE
WOMB
AT LONG LAST.
Having been
born into the ground
allows me to be
fully awake
in the present moment
and at ONE
with the drive.
Now i can return
to the embryonic state from i came.
I AM EMBRYONIC.
DIRT.
I HAVE RETURNED TO
THE WOMB
AT LONG LAST.
JUST
LEAVE
ME
THERE.

D.Herrera

I had a non fat latte and a perfect oatmeal with splenda and none of the toppings it comes with. You know, the nut medley, dried fruit and brown sugar. My daughter likes to eat the nut medley and dried fruit for me. I give it to her as a treat.

I was so proud of her last night. She came up to me with a tangerine and asked me to peel it for her. Then she said, "Isn't fruit so much better than candy?"

Beautiful. I hope I can build upon those healthy habits so when she gets to be my age, she has a healthy relationship with food, and not a food addiction that drives her to self destruct as it does to me.

I feel really good about where my life is going in terms of my weight loss, my academic life and motherhood. I feel that I have so much potential within me, and if I just apply myself and be honest with those who would help me, then I could really go far.

My goal weight loss this week is 1-2 pounds.

I thought I needed another fill, but I think I will wait it out another week and see if I can make some behavioral changes in my eating first. I am going to try not to eat past 7 pm for one week and see if that has any good results.

I am also trying to get back on a regular sleep schedule.

Wish me luck, even though if I apply myself, luck will play no part in my success.

"To infinity, and BEYOND." Buzz Lightyear

Diane Herrera