Puff The Magic Dragon

I have really been craving a cigarette and a big, fat, greasy cheeseburger today. But mostly, I feel like smoking a Marlboro 100, even though I don't really smoke anymore. I keep saying I have quit, and by all means, I have, but I still feel like a smoker. Anytime I smell the awful, aromatic smell of cigarette smoke, I start feeling like someone has forced me to quit smoking and I am entitled to smoke if I damn well please...I'm gonna try to hold out until the first of February...

As for my weight..I am frustrated to say the least. I am back up from 229.3 on January 10th, to 232.8 today, which is January 21st, 2010. That's a 3.5 pound weight gain. I have been so depressed and lethargic these past few days, ever since I noticed that my weight was going up, rather than down.

I stopped watching my food intake and just gave in to the fuck its. The fuck it brothers made an uninvited appearance on Monday and they have refused to leave. "F*ck this, F*ck that, F*ck them, F*ck it all. I heard of this medication made from Marijuana called fukitol. HA HA HA HA....You know, like marinol? FUKITOL! I'm sure it doesn't really exist and if it did, well, my brain naturally produces a wide range of FUKITOL.

I went to the gym today and barely got one measly mile out of the treadmill. I normally do 1 and a half, but today, I just didn't want to do it. Not only did I walk half a mile less but I walked it much slower. Got my heart rate up to 132 when normally, my max is 162. I guess I am just tired of working my ass off and seeing no results.

But Diane, it's only been 3 weeks, don't you think

you should give it more time before giving up?

Maybe try a little bit harder?

Tomorrow, tomorrow, is only a day away. I plan on playing my Nintendo Wii tonight and every morning for the next 7 days. It's good exercise, it really is.

I am going to re-start my food journal tomorrow, as well as an exercise log.

I saw this quote on another blog called : Angi and the Lap Band

http://angiandthelapband.blogspot.com/2007/09/me-and-wls.html

"SURGERY IS NOT THE MAGIC PILL WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. YOU WILL NOT WAKE UP THIN. YOU MUST BE WILLING TO MEET THE BAND HALF WAY. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT AT A DIFFERENT PACE THAN YOUR FRIENDS. YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR FOR THIS TO WORK. IT IS A TOOL-AND NOTHING MORE. AN ELECTRIC MIXER IS EASIER THAN MIXING BY HAND BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RECIPE FOR THE CAKE TO TASTE GOOD." ~R.MCCOY

This really makes sense to me! Its time

for me to meet the band half way and do

some foot work!

i can't take the caps lock off, i don't

know why. It's really irritating.

I will type smaller so it doesn't seem like i am shouting.

Anyway, it's time for me to get off my pity pot and get

motivated.

Until tomorrow.

Diane